Wednesday, April 6, 2016


The lion lying in the plain had lied
The lyin’ lion’s family had tried
To find the prey that he had said he’d spied
Afar from fields where lions ought reside

The lion claimed he could not be their guide
His brother, baring fearsome fangs, defied
Suspecting secrets he had hid inside
By worry was his brother’s love belied

He knew that if she knew, that she would chide
(The lioness he meant to make his bride)
But he could not confess, could not confide
If she had known, she would not have complied

The human hunters he had seen arrived
The ones from which he helped his fam’ly hide
The secret into which his fam’ly pried
A shot rang out; the lyin’ lion died

The tears of all his kin have not yet dried.
He lost his life; he never lost his Pride.

(NOTE: This poem was commissioned by Twitter user @VapingSonic, who suggested that I write about a lion's pride. It was written as a prize in @SirEviscerate's Night of Too Many Tweeters 2, a charity fundraiser for the Autism Self-Advocacy Network. Originally, the prize was intended to be a sonnet, but I went a little overboard.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Night of Too Many Tweeters Free Sample

Do you like poetry? Then you’re in luck!
I’ll pen a poem if you pay the price
With rhymes so good, you’ll be like “What the… frick”
Alliteration always sounds so nice

But wherefore do I ask from you this fee?
The money does not make its way to me
I’m doing it for charity, you see
To help out my good Twitter pal, Sir E

I’ll write on any topic that you choose
On math, or maids, or any sin of Man
My flow is killer, not unlike Ted Cruz
Or anyone enraged by Comic Sans

My poetry is comparable to pros’
(Check out the wordplay that I just did, bros)