Thursday, October 2, 2014

Happy National Poetry Day!

Sometimes sublime's the word that I would use
To try to capture feelings of this sort
And yet, it matters not which word I choose
The whole of human language comes up short

Perhaps where prose performs a job that's poor
The art of rhyme and meter might suffice
And so, to all the muses, I implore
that I be granted words which will entice.

So that this beauty can be known to all
I give to old, to young, to short, to tall
In seasons winter, summer, spring, and fall
A brilliant beauty, barely besting Brawl

Despite the many months for which I've griped
For Super Smash Bros. I am super hyped.

Monday, August 25, 2014

The Shadow

A deathly shadow stalks me in my sleep
A spectre siphoning my spirit's life
Its visage, only known to those who weep
to wonder why they've caused themselves such strife.

It is the source of nearly all the ills
that plague me in this too short life of mine
I can't describe the fear that it instills
The quakes of dread that it sends down my spine

Around me I see darkness, ebon black
At times I feel like I'm already dead.
My own concerns conspire to hold me back
And so, to push ahead, I'll burn my dread

And even though it may seem harsh and cruel
I am afraid I must go back to school.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

What I Did Instead of Math

I am afraid I have gone quite insane
Since summer's started, something's gone amiss
My motivation's missing: down the drain
I am unsure of how it came to this.

On school's last day I'd plans to ply my trade
To do those useful things I used to do
I think that hopeful me would be dismayed
Perhaps the present me is saddened too.

Was poetry my passion in the past?
I feel like once I was a number man
A rhyme reveals the sorcery I've cast:
This pun is what's become of summer plans

That's it. I'm done. The mic has just been dropped.
At three quatrains this poem should have stopped.

Friday, March 21, 2014

Rap Kerfuffle

My brother recently instigated a "rap battle" of sorts between me and my friend Dr. Lou Tennant over Facebook. He stopped being my friend after about halfway through the sonnet at the end, so I guess I lost. Annotations will be explained at the bottom, because there's a lot that needs explaining. B: indicates my brother's messages, L: indicates Lou's messages, and H: indicates my messages.

High rolla
Pussy Patrolla'

Bells so mad [1]
it'd make you sad

That's it
time to quit
can't rhyme for shit
Lines that I spit
ain't a fit
Like a man tit
In mah mit

Bro steps into the fray
But his rhymes be gay
If he wants to see the light of day
He best pick a God and pray.

Bitch, I'm classically trained
I make it rain
Like kisses on my dick[2]
Hard as a brick
Every time I think of Sonic The Hedgehog[3]

(This part was stolen from Pokemon Cypher)
Y'all tryin' to rhyme?
Get up out, whatchu doin?
Y'all some unown lames
Gen 2, alph ruins

(This part was original?)
You're an old rod,
I'm a super rod,
But I hit yo' girl with this good rod

I am like unown
'Cuz I've got Hidden Powers
Have this water stone
Since you clearly need Showers[4]

Yo' rhymes be weak
Like Love ball: defective
While the words that I speak
are super effective.

B: Gold

Silver, and crystal, too
No need to be Blue

Wanna talk Pokemon? Don't step to me.
You can't win, there's no chance, see?
Wanna act big? Wanna play rough?
You putting me to me to sleep, like a Jigglypuff.
I'm tired of you. Better give it a rest.
Release those rhymes, if that's your best.
You got no flow, your shit's a bore.
Now that I'm asleep, lemme use snore.

But now my final form Hast been revealed
The power of The Bard is now my own.
For centuries these skills were safely sealed
The power of my poems knocks men prone.

A fearful phantom of five feet arrives
Each step it takes, the beating of a heart
Its endless march has trampled many lives
A pain parade in which you now take part.

My verse is smooth like sinusoidal curves
I'll school your English, physics, and your math
To step to me, you must have quite the nerves
I am afraid I've frayed them with my wrath

I spit a flood in which a man could drown
An uncontested king, I wear the Crown

[1] Bells are the currency in Animal Crossing, which is what started this whole thing.

[2] Suffice it to say, this is a reference to a thing in which some person rained kisses upon another's dick. I'm not naming names.

[3] This is a reference to a Game Grumps thing. You can hear it in this song.

[4] Showers is the Japanese name for Vaporeon. This is a thing that my friends and I know.