Crown of Chaos 13 - Humor

I hope to end these sonnets with a smile.

To work some wonders with my wacky wit.

So that all nonbelievers are beguiled,

and see the truth of these mad rhymes I spit.

To fit a joke in meter's no mean feat.

The words and syllables must be just so.

But even if the joke falls flat, it's neat

If all else fails, I've still got wicked flow.

Now that I'm under pressure to perform,

It seems my humor process has been stopped.

That “John McClane” bit was the perfect storm

I don't imagine it will soon be topped.

A failed attempt at humor's downright vile.

If I must leave, I'd like to leave in style.

(The last sonnet can be found here).

Crown of Chaos 14 - Concluding remarks

If I must leave, I'd like to leave in style.

The one that I have always written in

A message from a major metaphile

So that this poem ends as it begins.

I'd like to thank you all for reading this

I hope it's half as fun to read as write.

I do suspect this structure will be missed.

I started this line with “I” out of spite.

Wherefore did that last line sound wrong aloud?

(Wherefore means “why”, in case you didn't know)

Despite some faults, of this work I am proud.

I probably could be a poem pro.

Although it might be silly and offbeat,

A crown of sonnets: quite a daunting feat.

(The first sonnet can be found here)

(The meta-sonnet can be found here)

Apologies

Sorry the formatting's in such a mess. The fonts are wonky in a couple of places, and the poems are in chronological order (kind of) from bottom to top, despite the fact that they're read top to bottom, which makes things kind of lame. I may try to fix this in the future. That is all.

An Introduction

I welcome you, dear reader, to my blog

A place displaying poetry with pride

A shelter from the Internet's dark smog

So why not come and have a look inside?

If you're averse to sonnets, I'd advise

That you depart this page ASAP

But if you read this post, then that implies

That you are willing to put up with me

And all the silly sonnets that I write

As well as those that cover darker themes.

I find too often I rhyme “write” with “trite”.

At least it's better than reposting memes.

This sonnet's not the best, I will admit

Perhaps I just don't really give a shit.

Well met! If you know of my from my sister blog, Shenanigans with Havoc Mantis, then prepare for a new side of me. If that is also news to you, you might want to check that out first. There's a reason I wasn't called "The most thought-provoking person on Facebook" by respectable gentleman and all-around dreamboat Payton Knobeloch. Anywhere, this is where I will share poetry that I write. Therefore, this introductory bit here may be the only prose that ever graces this blog. You would do well to treasure it. As I implied above, my output consists mostly, if not entirely, of sonnets. Much of my poetry is also written about poetry itself, because I am just meta like that. While my other blog is singularly silly and humorous, much of my poetry is somewhat more sober. That's not to say that it's all depressing imagery of crying and ravens, but there are some actual serious things, so that may be something for which you want to prepare. It is also worth noting that some of my poetry is indeed meant to be funny, so not all of it is a waste of time. Poems will be posted in the order they were written, but the order is largely arbitrary, except in a few cases. These cases will probably be noted. In some cases, explanatory notes may be found at the bottom of a post, in case I feel like making something clearer. Such notes will be italicized.

I guess I should explain what a sonnet is, in case you don't know. It's a poem with 14 lines: 3 quatrains, each consisting of four lines, and a rhyming couplet at the end. Each quatrain has a rhyme scheme of ABAB. All lines are in iambic pentameter (10 syllables, alternating between unstressed and stressed). I stick to these rules pretty strictly, and hate bending the rules to allow half-rhymes or additional syllables, but it will occasionally happen if I believe it allows for something else cool. I find I'm fond of alliteration as well, so keep your eyes peeled for that. If you see it, it's probably on purpose, and if it's not, I'll say that it was. Also, some words may have apostrophes to denote different pronunciation. For example, "favorite" has 3 syllables, but if I need 2 syllables to fit, I'll write "fav'rite", which is how most people pronounce it anyway.

The titles of my sonnets are often rather nonsensical and "deep" sounding. Pay them no heed.

Riposte

This one has a funny story. One of my friends made a post on Facebook about how he hated having to write an assignment in iambic pentameter. The post itself was written in iambic pentameter. It was a challenge I could not refuse, so I wrote this in response.

This challenge is one that I must accept.
At poetry I think myself quite skilled.
With words and syllables I'm quite adept.
I cannot let this chance go unfulfilled.

The only poetry that I can write
Is that which does refer to poetry.
The theme is starting to feel rather trite.
I guess that's just a curse of being me.

There really are things that I should go do.
I do not have the time to make these rhymes.
And, judging by your status, so do you.
Perhaps we could do this again sometime.

If you have homework, you should get right on it
Instead of wasting time and reading sonnets.

Sorry about the font. I might fix it some day.

Insomnia

I'm very tired, I want to go to sleep

And yet, it seems that as I lie in bed

The fruits of rest I cannot seem to reap

I guess I'll write myself some stuff instead

I wonder if it's wise to spend this time

On writing sonnets in the dead of night.

Just iterating uninspired rhymes

I guess that one might even call them “trite”

This time would be much better spent on rest 

Yet I'm afraid that may not be a choice.

While this scenario is not the best,

If I can find a rhyme, I will rejoice.

If I complete this couplet, I may keep

my sanity intact, if I can sleep.

Why, yes, this was written on the same night that I wrote one of my blog posts about sleep deprivation. The second one, if I remember correctly.

Originality

Sometimes I fear that ev'ry thought's been thought.

That no more new ideas can ever be.

That all creative writing is for naught.

That we have simply seen all we can see.

But I do not believe this to be true

To make new art is not to waste one's time.

For even when the concept isn't new,

A fresher take is not always a crime.

For there's a finite number of Aesops

To base a work of poetry around.

While having new ideas would be tops,

The premise is not logically sound.

While stories new compare to stories old,

That does not mean they're not worth being told.

I really like how I had "ideas" pronounced with 2 syllables in the 2nd line, and 3 syllables in the 11th line. Pretty funny, actually